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The PCman's Jokes and Riddles

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The PCman's Jokes and Riddles

  • Casey from Alabama, US added a joke on January 25. 2004   10:13
    Joke or Riddle:
    What was Einstien's answer to: Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Punchline:
    Did the chicken cross the road... or did the road move beneath the chicken?
  • Captain American... I mean... America from Boston, M*** added a joke on January 19. 2004   10:04
    Joke or Riddle:
    What do you call a person who professionally generates maps of the world?
    A cartographer.
    What do you call an academician who studies the global distribution of resources or cultural characteristics?
    A geographer.
    What do you call a person who is ignorant of global geography?
    Punchline:
    An American.
  • Captain u know who. from Georgia, Mississippi added a joke on January 19. 2004   09:52
    Joke or Riddle:
    How many Americans does it take to buy a gallon of gas?
    Punchline:
    250,000 soldiers to seize it and one soldier to pump it.
  • Captain America from Cameron, NC added a joke on January 19. 2004   09:34
    Joke or Riddle:
    What did the hotdog vendor outside the two towers say when the planes hit?
    Punchline:
    Ok, who ordered the two jumbos?
  • alan wenchuck from MI, USA added a joke on January 10. 2004   18:03
    Joke or Riddle:
    A guy goes into a bar and gets very drunk. He says to the bartender, "I bet you $50 if you run that beer bottle across the bar, I'll pee in it and never miss." So the bartender runs the bottle across the bar and the bartender gets pee all over him.
    Punchline:
    The bartender says, _it looks like you owe me $50._ and the drunk guy says,_ yeah, but i just bet those guys over there $200 that I could pee all over the bartender._
  • Lauren Rossell from NJ, America added a joke on January 8. 2004   14:15
    Joke or Riddle:
    knock knock!!
    who's there?
    MIchael
    Michael who?
    Michael Jackson
  • susan from NY added a joke on December 29. 2003   09:04
    Joke or Riddle:
    Dear Mom and Dad:
    It has been six months since I left for college. I'm sorry I haven't written more often and I'm very sorry for my unthoughtfulness. I'm sure you have been worried about me.
    Let me bring you up-to-date, but before you read on, please sit down OK? Don't read any further unless you're sitting down.
    OK? Good.
    I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire several months ago, are pretty much healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital! Mom always said the ***** in our family heal fast.
    In fact, I can almost see normally again and I only get headaches three times a day now.
    Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by a gas station attendant who immediately called 911. He's so sweet. He even visited me in the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute.
    He really is a good person with a kind heart. We have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but I'm sure that it will be before I start to show. That's right, Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant! I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents, and I know that you will give that baby the same love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was growing up.
    We would get married now, but we both failed our premarital blood tests because of some minor infection. He told me about it beforehand, but dumb me, I carelessly caught it anyway. Not to worry though, the doctor said my daily penicillin injections should clear it up by next month.
    I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind, and although not well educated, he is ambitious -- just like Dad!
    Also, he is of a different race and religion than ours, but I know, after all your years of teaching me tolerance, that you won't mind the fact that he is somewhat darker than we are. I'm sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too! I am told that his father is an important gun bearer in his native African village. That's an important government position where he comes from. Well, I guess that's all! Now you know why I wanted you to sit down when you read this letter.
    Now that I've brought you up-to-date, I just wanted to let you know there was no dormitory fire, I didn't suffer a concussion or a skull fracture, I wasn't in the hospital, I'm not pregnant, I'm not engaged, I don't have syphilis and there is no boyfriend of another race or religion in my life; however, I DID vote for Gov. Bush, and I just wanted you both to see this in its proper perspective.
    Punchline:
    Your loving daughter, Chelsea
  • Ashly from Missouri USA added a joke on December 19. 2003   20:31
    Joke or Riddle:
    What did Santa Claus say when he saw three blondes walking down the street?
    Punchline:
    Ho Ho Ho!
  • Ashok from Kuwait added a joke on December 18. 2003   03:06
    Joke or Riddle:
    what do u call a bull that sleep?
    Punchline:
    u call it a bull-dozer
  • flatheadjimi@aol.com from tucson,AZ added a joke on December 12. 2003   18:06
    Joke or Riddle:
    why are the other numbers afraid of the number 7?
    Punchline:
    because 7 8 9
  • flatheadjimi@aol.com from tucson ,AZ added a joke on December 12. 2003   18:03
    Joke or Riddle:
    what do get if you cross a dog and a hot sun?

    Punchline:
    you get a hot dog
  • dj from us added a joke on December 8. 2003   15:27
    Joke or Riddle:
    who did Buger kind marry?
    Punchline:
    Dairy queen ha ha ha not funny
  • chris from CA added a joke on December 8. 2003   10:54
    Joke or Riddle:
    There was a man who had a bag of chickens. Then another guy said "if i guess how many chickens you have in the bag can i have one". Then the guy said "heck if you guess how many i have ill give you both of them.
    Punchline:
    So the guy said 5. get it?
  • Andrew Terry from Kentucky added a joke on December 4. 2003   12:06
    Joke or Riddle:
    How can you tell when it's time for bed at Michael jackson's house?
    Punchline:
    When the big hand is on the little hand
  • dj from us added a joke on December 3. 2003   19:33
    Joke or Riddle:
    She was soooooo blonde she was headin' to the airport when she saw
    Punchline:
    a sign that said _airport left_ so she turned around & went home
  • dj from us added a joke on December 3. 2003   19:17
    Joke or Riddle:
    there once was a king that was obsessed with gold every time someone would move there,they would have to pay a fee in gold.
    one day he was worried that someone would try to steel his gold, so he had the gold melted into a throne .
    he stored his golden throne on the second floor of his grass house.
    one day he was having a feast " it was sort of windy. as he was starting his speech the throne fell though the floor a on the king, witch lead him to his death.
    what is the moral of this story?
    Punchline:
    People who live in grass houses shouldn't store thrones
  • Frankenstein from DALETONA, florida added a joke on December 2. 2003   20:00
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why don't women need driver licenses?
    Punchline:
    Because there's no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom!
  • kate from Pennsylvania added a joke on November 23. 2003   09:14
    Joke or Riddle:
    A piece of rope walks into a bar. He sits down at the counter and asks for a drink. The bar tender says " I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind here... look around, we only serve twine, yarn, ribbon..." The rope sighs and then walks out of the bar. Once he got outside, he got an idea. He twisted, rubbed, jumped, scratched and messed himself all up. He walked back into the bar. "Wait, aren't you the same guy who came in here before" the bar tender said, The rope replied.....
    Punchline:
    _Nope, I'm a frayed knot_
  • rick from ca,usa. added a joke on November 18. 2003   01:21
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why do farts smell?
    Punchline:
    So deaf people can enjoy them too..
  • Taz**** from California, USA added a joke on November 8. 2003   15:45
    Joke or Riddle:
    What Olympic event to frogs enter?
    Punchline:
    Ice HOPPY!!!
  • Taz**** from California, USA added a joke on November 8. 2003   15:44
    Joke or Riddle:
    What do you call 2 lambs on the ocean?
    Punchline:
    BattleSHEEP!!!!
  • Taz**** from California, USA added a joke on November 8. 2003   15:43
    Joke or Riddle:
    What do you call a frog that's stuck in the mud?
    Punchline:
    Un HOPPY!!
  • Orlando Cookie from WI ,USA added a joke on November 3. 2003   16:17
    Joke or Riddle:
    A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The giraffe drinks and drinks and drinks until he falls off the stool into a pile on the floor. As the man is about to leave the bartender asks "Are you just gonna leave that lyin' there?"
    Punchline:
    Then the man says _That's no lion that's a giraffe._
  • ERO from Texas added a joke on October 22. 2003   08:12
    Joke or Riddle:
    You put it in straight and it comes out wrinkled?
    Punchline:
    Panty hoes!!!!!!!!What were you thinking?
  • Charliz Jean Valerie Williams from Australia added a joke on October 13. 2003   20:09
    Joke or Riddle:
    What do you get if you cross a sheep with a wallaby? A wooly jumper
  • Chelsea from Texas/USA added a joke on October 9. 2003   15:27
    Joke or Riddle:
    What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?
    Punchline:
    Why, You are looking a little pail!
  • daniel from England added a joke on September 30. 2003   12:29
    Joke or Riddle:
    nothing is greater than god, nothing precedes god,
    nothing is more evil than the devil,
    nothing is higher than the highest number,
    nothing is smaller than the smallest thing.
    it has 7 letters,
    what is greater than god,
    what precedes god,
    what is more evil than the devil,
    what number is higher than the highest number,
    what is smaller than the smallest thing.
    Punchline:
    nothing.
  • jordan debrosky from Fort Wayne Indiana added a joke on September 25. 2003   17:27
    Joke or Riddle:
    What has a head and tail and is brown?
    Punchline:
    A penny.
  • ajay from punjab,india added a joke on September 13. 2003   01:10
    Joke or Riddle:
    there was a old man who died in his childhood.
    Punchline:
    power is mine
  • Jenelle from new york added a joke on September 10. 2003   22:01
    Joke or Riddle:
    A man walks into a bar and sits down at a bar stool. he calls the bartender over and says look. he pulls a miniature piano out of his pocket and sets it on the bar. the he pulls a 12 inch man out of the other pocket and sets it near the piano- the little man sits down and begins to play. the bartender says cool!! where did you get that? the man says i wished it from this little lamp here. he hands the lamp to the bartender, and the bartender takes it into the back room and says, i wish i had a million BUCKS! all of the sudden, a million DUCKS flew out from the back of the bar. the bartender walks over to the man at the bar and says, hey! i just wished for a million bucks, and instead it gave me a million ducks....the replied with~
    Punchline:
    hey, do you really think i wished for a 12 inch pianist??!!!!!!
  • Grant Laing from Edinburgh added a joke on September 8. 2003   10:09
    Joke or Riddle:
    Diver Meets Guy Underwater
    One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.
    The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.
    This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?"

    Punchline:
    The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, _I'm drowning, you moron!_
  • kristina loncar from NJ, USA added a joke on August 18. 2003   10:43
    Joke or Riddle:
    hehehe
    What's green and smells like paint?
    Punchline:
    Green paint.
  • connor eubanks from california added a joke on August 4. 2003   16:33
    Joke or Riddle:
    the man who made it didn't want it ,the man who bought it didn't need it,the man who used it didn't know it.what is it?and heres a clue you will only use it once
    Punchline:
    a coffin.
  • James Carroll from Malaysia added a joke on June 20. 2003   07:12
    Joke or Riddle:
    A bear walks into a pub. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a ..............coke."
    The bartender asks, "why the big pause"
    the bear holds his hand in front of his face, and says "I don't know, i've always had them."
    Punchline:
    That's the punchline.
  • james carrol from Philippines added a joke on June 20. 2003   06:59
    Joke or Riddle:
    What is beethoven doing in the grave?
    Punchline:
    Decomposing!!
  • tetter from Massachusetts, United States of America added a joke on June 17. 2003   14:31
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Punchline:
    To get to the other side.
  • tetter from Massachusetts, usa added a joke on June 17. 2003   14:26
    Joke or Riddle:
    what did the chicken say when he laid a square egg?
    Punchline:
    ouch!
  • Jill from Texas, USA added a joke on June 13. 2003   08:19
    Joke or Riddle:
    What kind of trees do fingers grow on?
    Punchline:
    Palm Trees
  • Brian Birdsell from Washington, USA added a joke on May 28. 2003   10:48
    Joke or Riddle:
    There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all got captured by an army. They devised a plan to escape. The brunette jumped up, and yelled, "Tornado, tornado!!!" The guards turn around, and she escapes. The redhead jumps up and yells, "Flood, flood!!!" The guards turn around, and she escapes. The blonde jumps up and yells, "Fire, Fire!!!" And the guards shoot her!!!
  • Jade Goodes from Pennsylvania added a joke on May 1. 2003   15:57
    Joke or Riddle:
    what do you call a dog that wears a watch?
    Punchline:
    a watch dog
  • Jade Goodes from Pennsylvania added a joke on May 1. 2003   15:51
    Joke or Riddle:
    Knock Knock who's there? Isabell ,Isabell who?
    Punchline:
    Is a bell necessary on a bike
  • harry from nf added a joke on May 1. 2003   07:36
    Joke or Riddle:
    what do you call a chicken with big ears
    Punchline:
    a horse
  • k dowg lindawg from nf representin added a joke on April 30. 2003   21:05
    Joke or Riddle:
    a man walks in this fancy restaurant and gets seated by the waiter. a few minutes past and the waiter walks over and ask what he would like(in a grand accent), the man replied with a "give me the soup", "as you wish" said the waiter. another few minutes past and the waiter comes with the soup and lays it on the table in front of the man, as the waiter was leaving the man said "wait a minute sir, what is this fly doing in my soup", the waiter replies, "i believe he's doing the back stroke sir
    Punchline:
    the fly was swimming in his soup
  • k dowg lindawg from nf representin added a joke on April 30. 2003   20:42
    Joke or Riddle:
    man walks in a ice cream parlor, "i'll have a tub of chocolate ice cream", "sorry sir we don't have chocolate" says the clerk, "oh" says the man,"i'll have a pint of chocolate ice cream", "i'm sorry sir" said the clerk,"we have vanilla, strawberry but no CHOCOLATE left, "all right" says the man, "give me a chocolate cone then", "sir" the furious clerk replied, "can you spell the VAN in vanilla", "of course i can miss"smartly explains the man,"V-A-N", "well can you spell the STRAW in strawberry", says the clerk, "um, yeah" says the confused but confident man, "S-T-R-A-W","alright" says the clerk, "can you spell the FRICK in chocolate", "there's no frick in chocolate" scream the man", "exactly" says the smiling clerk
    Punchline:
    _THERE'S NO FRICKIN CHOCOLATE_
  • Bubba from trabuderstan added a joke on April 7. 2003   07:11
    Joke or Riddle:
    She was so blond....
    Punchline:
    she asked for a price check at the dollar store
  • Bubba from trabuderstan added a joke on April 7. 2003   07:10
    Joke or Riddle:
    She was so blond....
    Punchline:
    she sold the car for gas money
  • timmaa from mo added a joke on April 5. 2003   10:45
    Joke or Riddle:
    After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
    enough (they could not afford a larger double wide) So, the
    husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him
    that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more
    children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a
    vasectomy that could fix the problem.
    The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb
    (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can,
    then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian
    said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't
    see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is
    going to help me -- I don't want to go deaf!"
    So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The
    Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure
    for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This
    doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb,
    light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to
    10.
    Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man
    went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held
    the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...",
    Punchline:
    then he put the beer can in between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand
  • Mike from St. Louis Mo added a joke on March 24. 2003   07:05
    Joke or Riddle:
    What do you call a box of ducks.
    Punchline:
    A box of quackers
  • Pat from mo, america added a joke on March 24. 2003   06:54
    Joke or Riddle:
    what did the man say when he walked into the bar
    Punchline:
    ouch
  • PARATO from usa added a joke on March 24. 2003   06:39
    Joke or Riddle:
    what do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
    Punchline:
    rustle
  • angie from usa added a joke on March 24. 2003   06:37
    Joke or Riddle:
    what do you call a man with no legs and arms in an ocean?
    Punchline:
    bob
  • Kristin from Ohio, USA added a joke on March 4. 2003   08:46
    Joke or Riddle:
    What does a blonde do when the first get up????
    Punchline:
    The get dress and go back home!!!
  • Declan from England added a joke on March 3. 2003   10:05
    Joke or Riddle:
    English, Irish and Scottish passengers board flight 4 7 0 in America bound for their return trip to their home countries. Tragically, the plane catches fire and it crashes into the sea between America and the UK. Where do you bury the survivors?
    Punchline:
    You don't bury SURVIVORS, they aren't dead yet!!
  • Kat from USA added a joke on February 22. 2003   17:51
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why did the blonde girl throw all the M & M's in the bag away?
    Punchline:
    she thought they said W W
  • Kyle from us added a joke on February 19. 2003   12:25
    Joke or Riddle:
    How do you keep a blond amused??
    Punchline:
    throw here in a circle room then say theres a penny in the corner!!
  • Kyle from us added a joke on February 19. 2003   12:23
    Joke or Riddle:
    How do you drown a blond in a pool??
    Punchline:
    You put a scratch and stiff sticker at the bottom of the pool!! lol
  • DJ from TEXAS added a joke on February 15. 2003   19:45
    Joke or Riddle:
    THERE ONCE WAS A GUY WHO WANTED TO GO TO THE GRAND CANYON. HIS CAR BROKE DOWN BY A FARM. HE SAW A FARMER WITH A HORSE FOR SALE. HE BOUGHT THE HORSE FOR $500. THEN THE FARMER SAID THERE'S ONE CATCH. TO MAKE THE HORSE GO SAY THANK GOODNESS. TO MAKE THE HORSE STOP SAY TOM HANKS, BECAUSE THATS IT'S NAME AND THE HORSE WILL THINK HE'S IN TROUBLE. HE TOOK THE HORSE FOR A TEST RIDE SAYING THANK GOODNESS AND OFF HE WENT. THE HORSE WAS HEADING TO EDGE OF THE GRAND CANYON AND THE MAN GOT THOUGHT OH NO I BETTER STOP HIM. HE SAID ALL THE CELEBRITY NAMES THAT STARTED WITH TOM, THEN HE SAID ALL THE CELEBRITY NAMES THAT STARTED WITH HANKS. FINALLY HE SAID TOM HANKS WHEN HE WAS AT THE EDGE. AND HE WAS SO RELIEVED THAT HE FORGOT TO HOLD HIS TONGUE AND SAID
    Punchline:
    THANK GOODNESS. WITH THAT THE HORSE DARTED OFF OVER THE CLIFF!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Kristin D from Ohio, USA added a joke on February 15. 2003   12:43
    Joke or Riddle:
    There were 3 Blondes walking in the woods and then they seen some tracks, the 1 St blonde said I think it's Deer tracks, then the 2nd blonde said I think it's Bear tracks, Then the 3rd blonde said I think its Mouse tracks......
    Punchline:
    Then The TRAIN hit them!!!!
  • Death to Suddam from Iraq added a joke on February 14. 2003   15:34
    Joke or Riddle:
    One day George Bush was over in Iraq talking to Saddam Hussein. They were sat down at a table discussing peace between the to nations. Suddam had three buttons by him, he pressed the first one and it kicked President Bush in the leg. Then he pushed the second 5 minutes later and it punched Bush in the face. He pressed the second another 5 minutes later and it punched the President right in the nuts. So he said, "I were not getting any thing done. So why don't you come over to Washington and we'll talk about things there?" So 1 week later Sud dam came and they sat at a table and our president pressed the first button nothing happened. He pressed the second nothing happened. He pressed the third. Suddam was getting so annoyed with George and his buttons he said, "I'm going back to Iraq." And George looked over at him and said, "What Iraq?"
    Punchline:
    The buttons Blew up Iraq.
  • Jason Jensen from Ut,USA added a joke on February 14. 2003   15:19
    Joke or Riddle:
    How do you get a BYU co-ed thorough the door?
    Punchline:
    Slap some grease on her hips and dangle a twinky in front of her.
  • Kristin D from Ohio USA added a joke on February 14. 2003   09:11
    Joke or Riddle:
    What's Barbie Favorite Sauce???
    Punchline:
    Barbie-Q sauce!!!
  • Cheryl Wilson from Missouri, USA added a joke on February 12. 2003   12:03
    Joke or Riddle:
    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
    Punchline:
    One's white, made of plastic, and dangerous to kids. The other is a grocery bag.
  • tyler rhine from in added a joke on February 4. 2003   07:49
    Joke or Riddle:
    jarod imreck is stupid
    Punchline:
    dzfh
  • Jarod Emerick from indiana,usa added a joke on January 20. 2003   06:06
    Joke or Riddle:
    why do blonds wear underwear?
    Punchline:
    good ankle warmers
  • Amanda from Boise,Idaho added a joke on January 13. 2003   11:36
    Joke or Riddle:
    There were 4 aliens they all wanted to go to different planets but instead they all went to earth. The first alien went to the music store and learned the words me me me me me, the second alien went to the white house and learned the words to help the president, the third alien went to a restaurant and learned the words fork and knife, and the fourth alien went to the candy store and learned the words goody goody gum drops. When they were walking down the street one day there was a dead guy on the street and there were also cops. One of the cops said,"Who did this?" The first alien said me me me me me. Then the cop said,"Why did you do it?" and the second alien said "to help the president." Cop:"What did you do it with?"
    The third alien said,"Fork and knife." cop: That's it your all going to jail! The fourth alien replied,"goody goody gum drops"
  • Kyle Roberts from Paris,France added a joke on December 3. 2002   16:08
    Joke or Riddle:
    Three men were in a airplane. 2 were good and 1 was bad.The first good guy threw a star out of the airplane and made a wish.The second threw a rainbow and made a wish.The third threw a bomb and wished for the people to die.The first guy landed the plane and got off.He saw a little girl crying.What's the matter he asked?A star fell out of the sky,hit my mommy and she died.The second guy got off the plane and saw a little boy crying.What's the matter he asked?A rainbow fell out of the sky hit my daddy and killed him.The bad guy got off first burning down a house and saw a boy laughing so hard.Why are you laughing the bad guy asked the little boy?The boy said My daddy farted and the house blew up!!
  • Kati from USA added a joke on November 11. 2002   08:19
    Joke or Riddle:
    There were 3 guys stranded on a island with cannibals. The cannibals said go find 10 pieces of fruit and stick them up your butt without screaming or making and noise. So they went out looking for 10 pieces of fruit. The first guy came back with 10 oranges, got 3 up his butt and screamed. The cannibals ate him and he went to heaven. The second guy came back with 10 grapes and only got 9 up his but and started laughing, so the cannibals ate him and he went to heaven. The two guys started talking up in heaven. The first guy said, "Why did you start laughing you could' have lived?" The second guy answered "Well............................"
    Punchline:
    (second guy answering)_I saw the third guy coming with 10 watermelons._
  • Kat from USA added a joke on November 11. 2002   08:07
    Joke or Riddle:
    There are these 4 guys stranded on a desert island and they only had bologna to eat and then a couple days later they only had one piece left. So the leader of the 4 guys said whoever had the best dream gets the last piece. The first guy dreamt about 100 dollars,100 houses and 100 cars. The second guy dreamt about 1000 dollars, 1000 houses and 1000 cars. The third guy dreamt about a million dollars, a million houses and a million cars. The fourth guy said..................
    Punchline:
    Yankee doodle went to town riding on a pony, while you ****ers were a sleep I ate all the bologna.
  • Callum Tucker from swansea added a joke on November 9. 2002   13:27
    Joke or Riddle:
    a plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico,where do they bury the surviver's?
    Punchline:
    u cant bury surviver's
  • Callum Tucker from swansea added a joke on November 9. 2002   13:25
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why do blonde's like bmw's?
    Punchline:
    because it's the only car that they can spell
  • peju from Hasbrouck Height. added a joke on October 21. 2002   20:21
    Joke or Riddle:
    i'm something i have three sisters that follows me around.what i'm i
  • Matthew Hubbert from England, UK added a joke on October 10. 2002   09:59
    Joke or Riddle:
    If it took 6 days for 6 men to dig 6 ****s, how long would it take 1 man to dig half a ****?
    Answer below:
    Punchline:
    Answer: Half A Day
  • unstopableone from U.S.A. added a joke on September 11. 2002   16:00
    Joke or Riddle:
    I was hired to find an impossible piece of equipment and my friend said it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. So wanting to even the odds i
    Punchline:
    went out and bought myself a metal detector
  • Moe Jenkins from brazil added a joke on September 4. 2002   20:38
    Joke or Riddle:

    Clear DayBrain teaser
    Marie's father has five daughters
    1. Chacha
    2. Cheche
    3. Chichi
    4. Chocho
    5. ????
    Question: What is the fifth daughter's name? Think quickly...you'll
    find answer below...
    Scroll
    down after you have your answer......
    Punchline:
    Answer: Chuchu??? WRONG!!!!! It's Marie! Read the question again. You are the weakest link....GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Sue Smith from Dover,DE added a joke on July 31. 2002   17:17
    Joke or Riddle:
    A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old
    farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
    The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad
    news, the donkey died."
    Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
    The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
    Kenny said, "OK then, just unload he donkey."
    The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
    Kenny said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
    Farmer, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
    Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
    A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked,
    "What happened with that dead donkey?"
    Kenny, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece
    and made a profit of $998.00."
    Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
    Kenny, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
    Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.
  • Matt from England added a joke on July 17. 2002   10:37
    Joke or Riddle:
    A little boy went up to his cl*** teacher and asked if he could go to the toilet. He teacher said, yes tomorrow if you tell me the first four letters of the alphabet. So he went home and went to his mum who was working hard and asked what is the first letter of the alphabet. She dropped something and said darn! Then he went on to his grandad who was playing darts and asked what is the second letter of the alphabet. After throwing his third dart he said 180. Then he went on to his big brother who was playing with his batman toys and asked whats the third letter of the alphabet. His brother said. Ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner BATMAN. Then he went to his little brother who was playing with his toy cars and said what is the fourth letter of the alphabet. His brother said. In my little yellow car beep beep. Anyway he goes back to school the next morning and says to his teacher I know the first four letters of the alphabet. She said what then. he said darn!. The she said how many teachers do you think would except this. He says 180. Then she says who do you think you are. He says ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner ninner BATMAN! She says how do you think your going to get away with this. He says. IN MY LITTLE YELLOW CAR BEEP BEEP!
  • Matthew from England added a joke on July 11. 2002   10:43
    Joke or Riddle:
    Beckham was sent off in the first half but scored in the second half. How is that possible?
    Punchline:
    David Beckham was sent off in the first half But (Nicky But) scored in the second!
  • enrico Ferrara from spain added a joke on June 7. 2002   15:02
    Joke or Riddle:
    Some funny lines:
    1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
    3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
    5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
    count that votes.
    6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
    7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
    9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
    10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat
    minor.
    11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
    12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
    Blownapart.
    14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
    16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
    18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
    19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
    22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
    at
    large.
    23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
    end.
    24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
    25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
    26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd
    dye.
    27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
    28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  • Joe Artec from usa added a joke on May 31. 2002   14:06
    Joke or Riddle:
    There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his
    money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more
    than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife,
    "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the
    casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me."
    And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he
    died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

    Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was
    sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they
    finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the
    casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!

    She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the
    casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it
    away.

    So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all
    that money in there with that man. "

    She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I
    was gonna put that money in that casket with him."

    "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with the man?"

    " I sure did," said the wife. "'I wrote him a check."
  • Harold Gorwin from usa added a joke on May 9. 2002   19:45
    Joke or Riddle:
    This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a British Naval
    ship and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 95. Radio conversation
    released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95:
    IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a
    collision.
    BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid
    a collision.
    IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
    South to avoid a collision.
    BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say
    again, divert YOUR course.
    IRISH: Negative. I say again, YOU will have to divert your
    course.
    BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA. THE SECOND LARGEST
    SHIP
    IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS,
    THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR
    COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR
    COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
    IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
  • Harold Gorwin from usa added a joke on May 9. 2002   19:33
    Joke or Riddle:

    A DETECTIVE STORY - SO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION:
    Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Yankees baseball
    game.
    They smuggled a bottle of Jack Daniels into the game.
    The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves drinking Jack
    Daniels mixed with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle of
    Jack Daniels is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
    Using the clues given, what inning is the game in and what is the status
    of the game?
    Think!
    Think some more!
    You're gonna love it ........
    And the Answer is:
    Punchline:
    It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!
  • Lizzie O'Burnhart from Reykjvik, Iceland added a joke on May 3. 2002   17:05
    Joke or Riddle:
    A girl and a boy are dancing.
    Boy- "Left,left,left,right,left..."
    Girl- Hey! Quit it! You know, we aren't in boot camp.
  • Bob Walters from Paris, France added a joke on April 28. 2002   19:08
    Joke or Riddle:
    Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a
    year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for
    forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners
    into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have
    bars on the windows. I don't think we should give
    free room and board to criminals. I think they should
    have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and
    generate electricity. And if they don't want to run,
    they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
  • pop shlpo from switzerland added a joke on April 8. 2002   12:30
    Joke or Riddle:
    Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in
    with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful
    enough, they
    have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get
    back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I
    mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write,
    "Could you throw this away for me? Thank You."
  • Breanna Sellers from Toronto, Canada added a joke on March 27. 2002   15:51
    Joke or Riddle:
    Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the
    96
    year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in, pauses and yells down the
    stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
    The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She
    starts up the steps and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
    The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to
    her
    sisters. Shaking her head she says, "I sure hope I never get that
    forgetful," and knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll
    come
    up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
  • John Ross from Bristol, England added a joke on March 27. 2002   15:47
    Joke or Riddle:
    I think we have stumbled on to something... What do you think?
    Health
    (A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
    than the British or Americans.
    (B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer
    fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
    (C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
    attacks than the British or Americans.
    (D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer
    fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
    (E) Conclusion: Eat " drink what you like. It's speaking English that
    kills you.
  • Theresa Adams from Cleveland,OH added a joke on March 25. 2002   19:20
    Joke or Riddle:
    There once was a horse that ate so little and was so thin, it had to wear a blanket constantly to keep the wind from blowing the hay out.
  • Harvey from nj,usa added a joke on March 22. 2002   18:14
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why shouldn't someone trust the ocean completely?
    Punchline:
    There's something fishy about it.
  • Harvey from nj,usa added a joke on March 22. 2002   18:07
    Joke or Riddle:
    A duck behind 2 ducks, a duck in front 2 ducks and a duck in the middle of 2 ducks. How many ducks?
    Punchline:
    Three ducks
  • Stew from usa added a joke on March 18. 2002   19:44
    Joke or Riddle:
    Why does Santa have a garden?
    Punchline:
    Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.
  • The PCman from usa added a joke on March 2. 2002   10:04
    Joke or Riddle:
    Hello everyone, we just put this script up we hope you like it. Feel free to add your jokes, riddles or funny stories. Have a good day.

New jokes are always added so check back often.

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